Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize