NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
