How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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