I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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