NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The Olympian is in my bed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
