You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize