im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
