honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
