I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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