Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
