Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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