Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
