Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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