Porn is love you can see.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
