hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
