I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
