You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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