Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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