Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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