no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
