question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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