Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize