come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
