Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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