dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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