When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
