god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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