i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
