So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You know, be my cock's hype man.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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