You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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