i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
