if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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