just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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