I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
