pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
