Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
