I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
