I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
