I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
