I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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