the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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