I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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