Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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