My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
