Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
