If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
