Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
