I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
