I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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