i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
