So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
