Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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