I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize