Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
