So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
