I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
