Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
